December 15, 2008
Recently I was questioning my purpose as I returned from a writer’s conference. I knew I had encountered God but I couldn’t help wondering if I was on the right track. My internal voices argued over whether all my writing endeavors were worthwhile and I found myself really questioning whether I should shelve it all and go get a regular paycheck. One afternoon I was sitting at my computer grappling with my voices of doubt when my 10 year old daughter Kayla marched purposefully into the room. “Mom, I’ve got something for you.” She picked up my hand and pressed into it a folded piece of pink paper that had been stapled closed. In fact it had been stapled all the way around. Smiling at me she leaned over, kissed my cheek and walked right out of the room.
I started to put the paper on top of my “Get to It Pile” until I saw what she had written. The bold letters of her fifth grade script blazed into my unbelieving eyes.
“Only Open if stopped Believing!!!” – Kayla
Stunned, I sat back in my chair amazed at how she could have known the depth of my struggle. I knew I hadn’t talked openly about my doubts and wondered how her young mind had comprehended my need for encouragement. I turned the paper over and over in my hands struck by how neatly the staples were placed and how if I really wanted to open it I was going to have to tear it open…with a lot of effort. There was no denying it, God had met me here and He had used Kayla in the process.
In the weeks since this amazing encounter I have to admit, there have been moments when I really wanted to open up the note. I’m curious to find out what she wrote but also just romantic enough to believe that if I open even one staple then perhaps, that does signal the end of me believing in my writing dreams. Instead of burying it beneath the stack of papers on my desk, the note has been placed prominently where I can see it daily. It’s a good reminder that whatever the circumstance there is a purpose and maybe even a challenge…I know I’m not ready to stop believing.
What about you? Are you ready to stop believing? Are you ready to let go of your dreams, feeling as if they are not worthy of your time and energy? I pray whatever your circumstance that you will find yourself on the receiving end of God’s grace and mercy. I hope that you receive exactly what you need and that your gift will come in an amazing way. God’s timing is indeed perfect. The faith boost He gave me through my pint size messenger was exactly what I needed. I pray that He will deliver the same kind of reassuring message to you and that you will be blessed.
5 days ago