The House I Grew Up In

In 1973 my parents bought this house for around $27,000. Recently my parents sold it for 10 times that much and are now preparing for the buyers to move in.

The house reflected the early 1970's with it's rust orange carpet and wood paneled walls. It was a single story rambler with no yard to speak of and not a lot of character. It begged for an owner to love it, nurture it and grow it into the home it became for us. In the 36 years my parents lived here they made major changes which included digging out a basement beneath the house, they put in an underground pool, planted copius amounts of flowers, grass and trees, painted the interior, gutted and remodeled the kitchen, tore out the orange carpet and replaced it with a lush cream shag. There are really too many changes to list here but suffice it to say the only thing that is really the same about this house 36 years later is the interior framework, everything else has been changed.

As I helped my Mom clean for the new owners a cacophony of memories, not unlike the echo of voices that reverberate across an open space, tumbled through my mind as I wandered the empty rooms. Memories of sleepovers, late nights with fevers, Christmas mornings, swimming parties, birthday parties, dinners as a family and so many more...every single memory I have is somehow connected to this place where I grew up. And now I have to say goodbye.

I know that I'm not the same little girl I was when I lived here, but the integral part of who I am and who I was meant to be are still the same. These things in me have grown and been enhanced by time and my life experience. I think houses are a lot like people, we both have a core internal framework that doesn't really change but is molded and shaped according to time and the natural courses of our environment. Sometimes a house needs a new coat of paint like a woman needs a new hairdo, or a man needs a shave. And sometimes a house gets sick and needs repairs just like a person who needs a surgery or a few days of rest.

This house was my home. It is still, even though I don't live here anymore. This is the place I will think of when I think of my parents and my siblings and all the great memories we have of our life together within these four walls. This house was a haven, a safe place that changed and adjusted according to the needs of it's inhabitants, just like a mother who provides a haven for her young. This house will always be my home and I will miss it, but am thankful for the memories that I will be taking with me.

Goodbye House.

Running Again...YAHOO!

About six years ago I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, an autoimmune disease that attacks the joint connective tissue. Unlike Osteoarthritis which is the kind of arthritis you see in the elderly, RA attacks the entire body including in worst case scenarios the sack that holds the heart, and other internal organs. RA causes severe joint pain and fatigue, it's not a pretty picture to say the least.

At the time of my diagnosis I was in training to run my first marathon. I had been running pretty well for about a year and a half, and had started competing in some local 5k and 10k runs. It was empowering for me, even though I was slow, to cross the finish line knowing that in my own little world I had accomplished something that was quite simply just for me. The diagnosis was devastating, or course I know there are worse things, but it seemed a cruel punishment to force me out of an activity that I had come to love so much. The doctor ordered me to stop running immediately, which in a way I couldn't argue with since I was really quite ill. But the stubborn streak in me said internally, "Fine, I'll stop...for now." I didn't know that it would be six years before I would get to run again.

I've always been athetic, and used to dance but running was my love and I mourned having to give it up. I didn't do anything for an entire year even though I had been told I could do other non-impact activities like swimming and yoga. No offense, but after you've had that runner's high, swimming and yoga don't quite cut it, at least for me. So, after about a year I got off the couch and started walking my neighborhood, then bought an elliptical trainer and I confess, I was hooked.

But here's the thing, I have never gotten running out of my system. There is something about the mind numbing pace that takes over my brain that allows me to mentally check out. I love the rhythm and the sound of my feet hitting the pavement. I love the even sound of my breathing as I ease into the middle miles of a long run and the tightness in my chest when I know I'm pushing for a strong finish. I love the early morning runs that allow me to catch the sun coming up, and the late evening summer time runs when I say goodnight to the day. It's one of the most exhilarating activities I can imagine and I'm happy to say that I get to start again.
It took two years for my arthritis symptoms to go away. I was under the care of a very good rheumatologist who cautioned me that even though I was feeling better, "You're never going to be cured." I spent the next three years visiting the same doctor only to see that all my tests were coming back negative and I was feeling fine. I often left the appointments wondering if I was feeling so good, and my tests were negative, was I really sick at all?
Finally I decided to pursue a second opinion and visited a new rheumatologist who had a completely different perspective. He ran, I swear, every blood pathology test you can imagine, taking ten vials of my blood. And took approximately 20 xrays of my hands, feet, and pelvis. The idea was to start at the beginning again.

It turns out that all my xrays are normal, no RA progression, no signs of any connective tissue deterioration and all my bloodwork came back normal accept I'm anemic and low on vitamin D. Apparently six years ago when I was training for the marathon I had Epstein Bar Virus aka: Mono, and that wreaked havoc on my autoimmune system producing a false positive for Rheumatoid Arthritis. So, I'll take a little iron, and a vitamin D supplement and continue seeing my doctor on a regular basis to check in.

The good news is...I ran three solid miles this morning. Not a lot but it's a start, and I'm feeling good!