Friday, February 10, 2012

Band-aids, Moving and Believe

I want to tell you a little bit about moving or at least my experience with it. You know that feeling right before you pull off a band aid that’s been stuck to your skin for a few days? You hesitate just for a minute because you know pulling it off quickly will hurt, but if you tug slowly it will hurt even more. For us this time it was fast with the pain coming in a flash. I still can’t make sense of it, except to know that it wasn’t up to me and I’m really okay with that.

A few months before we got the official announcement that we were going to move, the winds of change were already blowing through our house. For whatever reason I just had a sense that something was about to happen so when Grant came home in February last year from his sales meeting and told me his boss wanted us to move I was not surprised. We looked at each other and tried to make a decision about how and when to do it and instead decided to try and push it off. We weren’t ready, nor were we interested in yanking our kids from their home and their friends. And yet the feeling never left…I knew it was coming.

And then one Friday morning in April Grant came to me as I was typing away on my novel and all he had to do was look at me and I knew. It was time. Within a few weeks our house was listed, and within a day of the sign going in the yard it was sold. The band aid had been ripped off and I think honestly it took a little bit of my skin with it.

I won’t lie to you, even though I felt confident it was the right time and we were excited, we were also scared or maybe even a little terrified. At least I was.

We didn’t tell Zach and Kayla, not for a few weeks. They watched us toil around painting walls, fixing sprinklers and cleaning out closets and never asked a question. It was hard to keep it from them, until it wasn’t and we sat down one Sunday morning and told them we were going to have an adventure which included leaving the only home they remembered behind. Needless to say they were not initially excited about this adventure. But by the grace of God they followed our lead, listened to our prayers and trudged along with us into the unknown.

I’m happy to say that my worst fears have not come true. Within days of arriving we met some people who have become great friends, and they introduced us to their friends who are now our friends too. Zach and Kayla have been blessed with some great kids and have also gotten plugged into small discipleship groups with amazing Christian leaders. Grant is happy to see his co-workers at the office, and I just started tennis lessons with a new friend. Life is good and we are happy and incredibly thankful to the angels God sent who bought our house. They will forever be that to me…angels who God sent at the perfect time.

Looking back I wasn’t sure I wanted the band aid to be ripped off so quickly. I wondered if it would be better to linger, to think about it more, to just tug a little at a time so that we would have time to catch our breath, get our bearings and know for sure where we were headed. But in the midst of not knowing what to do, God did. When we weren’t sure what to say to Zach and Kayla somehow the words came. Even in my worst parenting moments there was a common thread that we were in this together. United, unified…a family, one. I love that.

I’ve spent the last seven months watching my children navigate new school systems, new teachers, new friends, and new activities. Everything is new to them. There have been tears and words of frustration. There have been victories and challenges and yet they settle into their beds every night asking me to pray over them, seeking the very same comfort that I seek. Every morning they get up go to school, heading into this world of new, this place, and this unknown. I’m proud of them. They amaze me.

I’ve watched Grant navigate new routines at work. Create the beginnings of what I know will be an oasis in our back yard and never forget to hug me and kiss me and listen when I’m feeling sad or unsure. I’ve watched him comfort our children, talk them through their fears with wonder and continue to be amazed by this man who never, ever gives up.

And I’ve watched God bring me through heartache with relationship challenges, knowing that my focus has been on getting the family settled and He’s provided me with moments of wisdom and is teaching me to not take myself so seriously. I’m learning that in so many ways this move wasn’t just about the change in geography but so much more. We are restored, united, unified…a family, one. And so much more.

I'm wondering if you've found yourself in a situation where you never expected you'd be and yet you know even though it might be scary that it's what's right and good. Exactly where you should be. I'm wondering if you find yourself right now, looking, seeking, wondering where you're headed next and perhaps are perplexed, lost even...unsure of what to do.

If that's you I'll not simplify it or waste your time with useless tips on how to get through. But I will say this to you, for me it comes down to one simple word that carries me through, especially seasons like what we've just experienced.


What carries you?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love you mom! Your amazing at what you do and how you get me through the day. I hope you feel settled here in our new life soon just as I hope I do too. I love you mommy!!