Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Getting Settled Again

I've been cleaning my house for the last two days. I keep telling myself that the house just needs a good cleaning, it's been six weeks afterall. There's an inch of dust that needs to be dusted, and floors that need vacuuming and mopping, blinds that need to be cleaned, toilets that need swishing...the list could go on and on. But today I decided it's more than that, since I seem to have this pattern of behavior every year after we've been gone. All this cleaning and organizing and throwing out is me really finding myself again after being on a traveling journey for the last six weeks. This is me exploring and reminding and settling myself into my own space. This is me working through my sadness about having to leave my family again after such a blessed time. This is me getting to the heart of my grief over not seeing them again for an entire year.

And so my house will be clean and I'll be tired and eventually the tears I'm holding in will spill over my cheeks and I'll have a nice long cry. And then, for whatever reason, I'll feel like my old self again and life will go on and I'll feel settled in my own space again knowing that the time we had was a gift that I will continue to enjoy throughout the coming year through my memories, my photographs and the anecdotes me and my family will share in the weeks to come. And on those days that I'm missing my family and wishing that we were all together, I'll daydream about the next summer and the fun times I know we will have.

Lord, thank you for the special time we had with all of our family members this summer. I am so grateful for the gift of time that you bestowed upon us and yes I'm even thankful for those challenging moments that you allowed so that we could all grow and learn more about eachother. Lord in the weeks that lie before us, I ask you to be with each one of my family members. Please reveal yourself to them in a new and different way and help each of them to know that you love them with all of your heart.
In Jesus name,

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