I tucked my knees beneath my chin as I sank onto the wooden planks stretched across the shallow opening, creating a place just large enough for me to fit. The black water tickled the sides of the boat as I wondered where I was and how I had ever strayed so far from the shore, from the familiar landscape of my life. The sky ran for miles into the horizon where the ocean and the heavens meet. Straining to see just a glimpse of land I closed my eyes in disgust. How did I ever end up here?
Wrapping the thin nightgown around the bottoms of my feet warmed my hardened soul for a moment before the sting of the wind began to swirl around me. The calm sea began to swell, frosting the black peaks with white foam, throwing buckets of water into my once dry boat. The thin fabric of my nightgown, pelted with salt water, grew heavy like a potato sack and pulled me deeper into the boat. The waves crashed, tossing my dinghy around, throwing me deeper and deeper into the boats shallow depths. My fingers clung to the sides of the boat as it rocked and bucked tossed about like a child's toy. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I cried out to God, to anyone to save me. "Please, someone, please...I'm going to drown! God, please rescue me!"
Pushing off from the boat's edge that now lay submerged beneath the surface of the ocean, I stood wrapping my arms around myself, bracing my feet in the bowels of the sinking boat. The wind raged around me, throwing salt pellets into my face, stinging me like a wooden switch on the hind end of a six year old boy caught for stealing. Straining against the salted air, I searched the heavens and then the depths of the sea, but all I could see was the empty black hole that was about to swallow me up. And then in the distance I saw him. He stood at the end of my boat like a gracken risen up from the depths of hell. His giant hands gripped the end of my boat, splintering the wood as it cracked with each heave. His eyes gleamed with hatred as they peered into my soul. He laughed as I tried to cover my secrets, my fears, my greatest weaknesses, but he saw it all and said, "You think you can hide from me? You think anyone is going to save you now?" His words clattered throughout my anxious brain as I searched my heart, cowering beneath the weight of this truth, accepting this as my fate. There was nothing I could do, my time had come.
I surrendered in defeat, waiting for the final blow to come. I begged internally for it to be quick, painless, and asked for mercy. Seemingly he knew what I was saying in my mind as a horrific bellow gurgled out of his mouth covering me in darkness.
And then as quickly as the storm had raged, it disappeared. The peaceful waves held my weakened body as I clung to a wooden remnant of the boat. Streams of light streaked across the sky, sending small fire like explosions across the heavens, as the darkness was again consumed by light. Looking all around me, my brain struggled to place where the gracken had been when all I could see was the glimmer of sunlight bouncing off the pale blue water. I rolled onto my back, floating along as the waves carried me. I had no idea where I was going but for once I was sure I didn't really care. Somehow miraculously I was saved. I laid my head back, smiling to myself, soaking it all in. What had seemed like certain doom before had turned into something wonderful.
As I lay there bouyed by this revelation, I realized I wasn't alone and opened my eyes. Right there attached to the toe of my right foot was a rope. I followed the length of it with my eyes, startled to discover another boat. An exact replica of the boat I had been in before, only this one was perfect. I unhooked the rope from between my toes and pulled myself towards the boat. Questions rolled around my head as it came closer. Painted brown this time, it was bigger then my previous boat. Grabbing onto the sides, I pulled my battle weary body into it's waiting arms and collapsed. None of this made sense to me, how did this get here? And what happened to that gracken anyway? I looked around searching the horizon once again but there were no clues. Curling my body onto one of the plank seats I wondered once again how I had gotten here to begin with.
As I settled onto the firm bench, I heard the faintest rustle of paper in the wind. Down in the deepest corner of my new boat was tucked a folded up piece of paper. Blinking my eyes a few times, I reached down to get it and held it out in front of me. On the outside of the creamy cardstock was my name. Allison.
In spite of what you might think, I have never ever forgotten you. I never could. You are my created being, part of my kingdom and a treasure to me. I promised you that I would watch over you, give you rest and shed my blood so that you could have a relationship with me. I have always loved you and would never willingly turn you over to the pit of hell.
Allison, the battles you choose to fight on your own, you will surely fail. The battles you choose to fight with me at your side, you will always win. Victory may not look how you want it to, but I assure you, I am always for you and never against you.
Surrender your will, trust me and believe that when you are once again sinking in your boat, all you have to do is cry out to me and I will be there to lift you up.
Love Your Father in Heaven
My 1963 Rambler, El Tanque
3 days ago