Monday, October 26, 2009

The Once Over

I got the once over yesterday. If you're a girl you know what I'm talking about. It's that look you catch someone giving you when they literally look you over from top to bottom. It was from another girl, that can only mean one thing...she was measuring me up. I wonder if I made the cut? Anyone else ever been on the receiving end of the once over? Or worse yet, the once over coupled with the whisper? That's when they look you up and down and then turn to their friend and whisper. Nothing can make you feel more exposed as when you catch someone giving you the once over and they don't even hide it.

It's important to state that because we are humans, and God gave us eyes, it's impossible to not look at other people and to not have a picture of who they are embedded into our psyche. That's part of who we are and part of how we relate to eachother, and that's okay. What's not by God's design, however, is that look of judgement that comes with the disgust or disapproval that registers in the lookers eyes. When you are on the receiving end, you feel the sting, just like they stung you with a sharp pin. It hurts, it wounds and sometimes can weave itself into the beginnings of some serious personal attacks.

As a woman I recognize it's nice to be noticed. I can think of many times I've received a complimentary glance or a verbal compliment that I've floated on the tails of for an entire day. It feels good to know that we look good or that someone liked what we had to say. But the quickest way for my balloon of happiness to deflate is when the once over I get is accompanied with a look of disgust or disapproval. That takes me right back to my elementary school days when I wore toughskins and polyester pants. Oh, how I wish our society wouldn't focus so much on what we look like on the outside and instead follow God's commands and appreciate the little gem that's hidden within us.
In Matthew 7:12 it says, "Do to others what you would have them do to you?" And in Romans 15:3, "The insults of those who insult you have fallen on Christ." So, as much as I wanted to feel hurt and angry at the person who gave me the once over, and believe me I had to work for a little while to let it go, it would not have served me or her any purpose to hold onto that. Sure, if I want to allow my worth and my value to be tallied up by someone who doesn't even know me, then I could choose to let that look stay embedded in how I feel about myself. But as a daughter of the King I choose to instead remember that passage that states with such emphatic love, "The King is captivated by your beauty," by me. He is captivated by me, no matter what I'm wearing, no matter if my shoes are with the trend, or if my hair is styled just right. The King is captivated by me, his gem, his treasure, his precious child. That's where I find my worth.

The next time I catch someone giving me the once over, instead of wondering if I made the cut, I'm going to remember that I did indeed make the cut, in God's eyes. And that will be enough.


Carla Burke said...

So true. I'm sure I've gotten the once over many times in my life. It did use to bother me though, but now I just remind myself that I have God's approval and His is the only one that matters.

Anonymous said...

Very well written! I love that you add scripture passages making it all the more powerful. You have a gift for writing. Thank-you for sharing :)
Tanya Rolstad