I'm not a big fan of change. Never really have been, but I'm learning to adjust. I don't think of myself as being rigid, that's such a negative, but rather flexibility challenged. That has a much more positive ring to it. Shows there is room for improvement and I'm okay with being challenged.
I'm a planner, an organizer a structure junkie if you will. Quite simply, I like to know what's coming around the next corner. Sometimes I wish I could be just a little bit omniscient like God so that when change comes it wouldn't rock my world so much. I know, not gonna happen but still I wish it were.
In the midst of change I end up feeling like I'm two steps behind. Two steps behind my work, or two steps behind my kids, or two steps behind what's happening in my friendships...you get the idea. I can see and feel that something is different but I can't quite put my finger on it until Voila! It hits me, it's CHANGE.
It's strange to me that I struggle with change, maybe it comes from all the years of Grant's illness. Or maybe because of my family dynamic growing up. In any case, change is something I've come to understand isn't to be feared, instead it usually signals growth, and huge opportunities to learn.
I love to learn, and if I can look at the change monster through that lense of opportunity then I'm much more open to it. Change can be a good thing, and ultimately I think God uses it in our lives to show us that He's always on the move. Leaning into Him through the changes that come helps me with my innate desire to turn around and walk the other direction. I am human afterall, it takes an act of my will to seek God and ask him to help me with these things.
So today I'm asking God to help me understand the changes, asking him to expand my ability to roll with it and asking him to remind me that in the words of Sheryl Crowe, "A change will do you good."
How do you handle change?
My 1963 Rambler, El Tanque
3 days ago